I spent last week getting back on my emotional feet after visiting Twin Oaks. It's crazy how faces and places can stir one up.

And THEN! Late last week, I got an email from Keegan telling me that he was coming into town due to a family emergency. Ah! My carefully constructed calm! It left me completely. I was honestly shocked by how powerful my response was to this news. The part that got to me was not that Keegan would be in town. No, the kicker was that his family was going through a difficult time, and I didn't feel that it was my place to help, or even to be present with them. Until a few months ago, they were supposed to be my family. But, with the end of our engagement, they were Keegan's family and his alone.

In an attempt to do something, anything, I offered to drive Keegan back down to Twin Oaks on Sunday. Please imagine me doing this in the middle of a two hour marathon of sobbing. Please also keep in mind that I don't even like driving.

He accepted. I was in a panic getting ready to go. It was fairly late in the evening, and driving there and back takes at least five hours. I began to resign myself to an incredibly long, difficult night. I picked him up from the nearest Metro station. I cried on him for a while. We talked.

As it turns out, he didn't really need to be back that night. It could wait until after I got off work the next day. At that moment, my panic meter went from the danger zone to "I can handle this."

Well, OK. I drew him a map of how to walk to the nearest coffee shop and to the library so that he could amuse himself the next day. He walked me to work in the morning. After work, I met him at the library and we grabbed a quick dinner together. He was very pleasant company in the car on the way down.

I still enjoy his company. Very much. I think he's great. He seems to think I'm great. Too bad we destroy each other when we date, evidently.

In other news, my lead teacher came down with the flu from hell yesterday. She left work early yesterday, didn't come in today, and probably won't be in tomorrow. I have done a decent job of managing the class by myself, I think. All the kids are still in one piece. They did some productive work. We managed to stick fairly well to our schedule. I feel moderately competent.