Paper journal entries

Wednesday, May 18th
At 3:00, my father dropped Keegan and me off just outside of Richmond. Our intention: to walk to Twin Oaks, a community in Louisa, Virginia. Although the distance isn't that great (about 50 miles), I am still impressed by the enormity of our undertaking. We are taking a very long walk, followed by a visitor period at T.O. We will be applying for membership.
In fact, we are planning to move to Twin Oaks, get married, and start a family.
So, really, today is the first day of that life.
Last week, we moved all of our belongings (just about) into a storage unit. We cleared out our apartment. I had been living there for two years. Yesterday, we loaded up our packs, said farewell to my cats-- more on them later-- and left for Virginia, to the home of my parents.
Leaving my cats is my one regret in starting this new life. I hope they find a human who will love them; they deserve it.
As I said, we started walking at 3:00. We were passed (on foot) by a man who told us he'd walked to North Carolina a number of years ago. We passed a hisoric site marker for the Hugenot Settlement. Who do they expect will read those, anyway?
Around 5:30, we started looking for a place to spend the night. We had made all of our parents nervous by telling them we would be sleeping in the woods off the side of the road. Of course, neither of us has ever slept in the woods off the side of the road before. How does one pick a good spot? We scouted a couple before deciding on this one. We're in more of a field than a forest, but we're hidden from the road by a lovely tree with droopy branches.
Let's hope all goes well tonight. At least, no matter what happens, I am in excellent company.

Thursday May 19th
Last night was taxing. Being hidden by just one tree isn't much comfort. I am not used to camping and had a difficult time relaxing. Keegan was very anxious about our being discovered. It looked like rain and we worried about our tent. (No rain in the end, though.) The train tracks were just across the road. I never realized how loud trains are, or how long you can hear them. All in all, I didn't get much sleep last night, and I don't think Keegan fared much better.
We were both wide awake at 3 AM, too anxious or uncomfortable to contemplate staying in place much longer. We told stories for a while, and then broke camp at 4 AM. Walking a country road at that hour is quite an experience. The fog on the fields was lovely.
We were stopped by a police office who said someone had called in about us. She encouraged us to be safe.
The sun rose behind us.
We had been planning to walk to Powhatan State Park today, just south of Goochland according to the map. As we approached our destination, we began to doubt its existence. ["There's nothing that way except the prison," we were told.] This prompted a change in our plans.
We had planned to stay a few nights at the park to kill some time-- walking to T.O. from Richmond is more of a 3-5 day affair than a 10 day one. No park meant more time dawdling and trespassing-- not an appealing prospect.
We considered trying to find a campground, but then I realized that I knew just the place to pitch our tent for free without worrying about being discovered.
I gave GPaul a ring and arranged to spend a few days camping on the grounds at Acorn. We will probably arrive tomorrow, weather and health permitting. We will stay there until the following Friday morning, at which point we will set off for our visitor period.
Thus, our pre-T.O. adventure has been reduced from a 10-day walk to a 3-day walk and a week at Acorn. I can live with that.
Notable things from today:
-We have a much better spot for our tent tonight. It's in a pretty patch of forest well out of sight of the road.
-We saw a dead cat on the side of the road today. Dark eyes, creamy fur.
-Everyone who talks to us urges us to be careful and expresses amazement at our walking so far.
-Keegan is wonderful. He is also in better shape than I am.

Saturday, May 21

We arrived at Acorn yesterday just in time for dinner. Yesterday's walk was long and tiring, but having a place to get to by evening helped us to push on. We ate lunch on the grass in the town of Shelfar. A woman on her bike there told us she had seen us in Goochland the day before.
Arriving at Acorn felt wonderful. We did it! Jon spent the night at LEF and offered us the use of his room, which was happily accepted. I cannot begin to express how luxurious his bed felt.
In the morning, we headed to LEF with Stephanie and the turkey chicks. There, we planted squash and watermelons in the seed field. It was hot work. Keegan got sunburned. We decided not to stay for the afternoon; a break seemed like a good idea.
We talked about communities and plans. We looked at ducks. We swept. We ate dinner. (Saturdays are pizza nights!) Keegan is off playing frisbee at Twin Oaks. I have set up our tent in a tree house.
I am glad to be here. Traveling is well enough, but I like destinations.

Wednesday, May 25th

We decided to take on a project to pass the time and make ourselves useful. We checked the "looking for work" board and decided to try tiling the wall in the downstairs Heartwood shower. [After installing a smaller window in the shower, the Acorners had duct taped a plastic sheet over the resulting hole in the wall. Keegan and I were fixing the hole and adding tiles to waterproof our handywork.] Neither of us had done any tiling before. We adding blocking, insulation, and backing before we could even start laying tile. The tiles we chose are a lovely, warm, terracotta color. We have set a single sky blue tile in the center. I think it looks pretty good, especially for a first tiling project. The mortar, tile, and grout are all in place; all that remains to be done is curing and waterproofing.
I am ready to be at Twin Oaks. I'm glad that we've been able to stay here, but I feel as if I am floating a bit. At least we don't have much longer to wait; tomorrow is our last complete day here.
Speaking of waiting, the waiting list for T.O. is shorter than we had feared. I hope to get in this summer, certainly by early fall.

"Oh, that I had time and talent to describe this curious country." - Elizabeth Dixon Smith

Thursday, May 26th
Today is our last full day here at Acorn. I'm so excited to start our visitor period at Twin Oaks. I'm also excited about having a bed to sleep in-- in a room! What luxuries.
This morning, I put the finishing touches on the grout. I almost feel like I know what I'm doing with tiles now. Almost.

Saturday, May 28th, morning

Good morning, Twin Oaks! Keegan and I arrived here yesterday around 3:00. Keenan immediately drafted us into helping his with the Nashoba addition; we had creditable labor under our belts before we even set foot in Aurora.
Our visitor group is mostly composed of students. There's another couple who are considering membership, but they have a lot of other options on their plates. We're the only ones who are definitely applying.
I feel a little crazy about being back. [I did a visitor period exactly four years ago.] Do people remember me? Will things go as well as I have been telling myself they will?

Sunday, May 29th
Has it really only been a couple days? I still feel very new here. I don't know many people; I don't know what to do with myself during my free time. I've only worked with two non-visitors, which isn't nearly enough to build a social scene.
I've had two hammocks lessons, so I at least I can be productive when I don't have work scheduled. That's something. I like tying knots.
It's funny, I feel like the wise old woman of this group. I'm the only one who's really been here before. Emily lived at Acorn in 2005, but she had very little experience with T.O. My fellow visitors have been asking a lot of questions about life here, what the work is like, what the rest of the visitor period will be like, etc. I think some of my information is outdated, but I guess it's better than nothing.

Monday, May 30th
I feel like I'm settling in pretty well. I've had easy, pleasant conversations with a few members. Worked tofu, did some food processing, tied some knots, caught up on labor. I have 9.5 hours assigned one day later this week, but I feel weird about being slightly behind for now. Have to make quota if I'm applying, you know.

Tuesday, May 31st, morning
This morning was rough. At breakfast, I had a conversation with Paxus about the likelihood of my relationship failing upon moving to Twin Oaks. Great. That's exactly what I wanted to digest along with my granola.
I also had a shift clearing out the furniture barn. It was a mess. Dirt, mold, broken shit, wasps, poison ivy. I ended up leaving an hour and a half early because I was so spooked by the wasps. [Seriously, they'd built their nests in the furniture that we were now trying to clear out. They were mad.]
On the way to the furniture barn, I saw Keegan with his shirt off during a garden shift. Continuing a joke from yesterday, I asked if he was working on his "gay farmer's tan." [His tan lines had the T-shirt sleeves of a farmers tan with a V-neck in front.] Ugh. I said it too loudly. The honcho of my furniture shift pulled me aside and said that that's not how people use that word around here, as if I were some suburban kid who'd never thought about the problems around using gay as a derogatory term. I was so embarrassed.
I feel like I have to tiptoe around now so I don't do anything else to offend people on accident.
And, I mean, if people actually knew me, they'd know I didn't mean it that way. I'm queer, for goodness sake.
Ugh.
I talked about this experience at lunch; Keegan looked serious and told me to watch out for things like that. Like I'm jeopardizing our future by letting an off-color joke slip. Who knows? Maybe I am.

Tuesday, May 31, evening
The afternoon was better than the morning. Talked with one of the older teens while painting. Tied some knots. Played Taboo.
Life is pretty OK.

Thursday, June 2nd
I have an interview with the membership team tomorrow morning. I'm nervous, I'm excited, and I'm pretty sure it'll go well.
I've had a garden shift two mornings in a row now-- it'll be nice to have a day to let my sunburn recover and for my back to get less sore. I'm definitely not used to physical labor, especially not labor outside.
My visitor group is great. We all get along well and happily hang out. We played Taboo for the past two evenings. Last night, one of the provisional members joined us.
I had some trouble adding up my labor sheet for the week [it ended up being a decimal issue], and the same provisional member helped me track down a calculator. Keegan and I had planned to go to the music room after that, but he sliced his left hand yesterday during his tofu shift and has it heavily bandaged; hard to handle the fretboard when you can't bend your pointer finger. Instead of making music, we're spending a quiet night in Aurora. Keegan is studying Latin. I just finished making the flier for our sauna night.
It involves glitter.
Feel good, making friends, settling in. It's crazy hot out, but everything else is pretty great.

Monday, June 6th
My interview was on Friday. I told my life story in about 25 minutes, referencing my bullet point list of life events to keep things moving. Of course, the interviewers wanted to talk more about my sexual assault; we spent about as much time on that as we did the rest of my life. (Which is sort of a bummer.) I didn't get a referral to the mental health team about it because there is no mental health team right now. My interviewers expected that I would get accepted and fit in well. Things are looking good.
On Sunday, we [the visitors] hosted a sauna night. Fetched wood from EC and set the sauna up with Keegan, Emily, and Tony. The sauna had great turnout. I'd say we had at least 10 non-visitors come hang out over the course of the evening.
Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. I can see myself here. It's frustrating being a visitor-- I want to settle in, carve out a space for myself, and get to work on things that require me to have more staying power. Childcare work being first on that list. I think Keegan is in a similar place.

Saturday, June 11th
Today is the second day of our third week here. On Friday, we will depart. I feel very good about our chances of being accepted, so I'm honestly looking forward to leaving so that we can come back again.
I'm a bit tired of being a visitor. I would like to start taking on bits of responsibility, but of course I can't until I'm a member. I want to just go ahead and get started already.
Keegan and I had a friend date over dinner yesterday with R. and M. R asked us what our hopes were in moving here-- we talked about our desire to have roots, to invest in a place and stay put. He talked about T.O. as being a wayfaring station. I hope we can put down roots nonetheless.
I've been loving gardening. I think I'd like to spend every morning gardening or working with the Unicorn School.
I love Keegan so much. I just drew a bunch of hearts on him, because I have a pen in my hand and he's such a lovely canvass. I'm very lucky to have found someone who not only tolerates me but appreciates me-- even when I'm obnoxiously drawing hearts on him.
Just watched a movie in the Bijou-- "Another Year." It was great. Slow, British, about older people dealing with getting older. Hard to watch at times. I always expect to speak with a British accent after watching British films.

No journal entries for the rest of the visitor period.