I have decided to move back to the DC area. It's a long story, and you would know more of it if I updated my blog more often.

We have a tradition here of posting letters to the community when we leave or make big decisions. Here is my letter about this decision:

Hello Oakers,

I am applying for a PAL*, starting in mid August. Thanks for being my home for the past year! However, I think that, at this point in my life, I need to be somewhere else. I came to this realization rather suddenly, and I’m sorry if it feels abrupt, but I think it’s the right thing for me to do. I have four big reasons for wanting to make this move:

1.   I have lost sight of why I’m here.

I moved here a year ago because this was where Keegan and I were going to start our family. Obviously, that’s not happening now. I know that there are other things that brought me to Twin Oaks, but the hole left by the loss of that relationship makes it hard to remember them.

2.   I’m tired of waiting for people to make the decisions that I think will make me happy.

I have been spending the last several months waiting for other people to make decisions: waiting for people to make decisions about rooms, waiting for Keegan to make decisions about our relationship, waiting for Rayne to make decisions, etc. I want my happiness to depend on my decisions. I think it would be best for me to go somewhere else and remind myself that I am a free agent.

3.   I have never felt quite at home.

I have a long, grumpy story about my room history here. I’ll spare you the details. I have desperately wanted to feel at home at Twin Oaks. I have desperately wanted to really move in. I have never been given that opportunity. I think a year of feeling homeless is enough for me.

4.   I want to learn more about Montessori methods and early childhood education.

My time at Unicorn School has made me realize how rich and vibrant kids under 5 are. My degree in elementary education provided me with very few tools for working with this age group. I am applying for jobs at Montessori schools and early childhood centers in the hopes of learning from the pros. If I do come back, I hope it will be with awesome new skills that will benefit the kids here.

That brings us to the “what’s next” part. As I said, I’m applying for jobs at schools. School starts in late August at most places. If my PAL is approved, I will be going on transition starting the labor week of Aug 3^rd. I will be leaving on or before Aug 16^th.

I don’t know whether I will come back. I know that I need some time and space to sort myself out. Maybe living out there for a year will remind me how awesome TO really is. Maybe I’ll find a place that feels like a better fit, and I’ll stay there. I know that TO isn’t a healthy place for me right now, and that a happy Joanna would do TO more good than a depressed Joanna.

I am planning to head back to the DC area. It’s where my family and many of my college friends live. If y’all are in the area and need somewhere to stay, let me know. It’d be nice to see you.

In community,

Joanna

*PAL is Personal Affairs Leave, a pause in membership for up to one year. Some people never come back from their PAL. It's a nice safety option in case the member wants to return within a year without needing to go through the full membership process again.